From what I have read, learned ... now that the A is 'out' ... its not longer the dirty secret, its real, a real relationship. Some of that drug has quickly worn off ... as your W starts coming out of that fog, things are going to become very very real for her, the fact she blew up a M, a family, all that ... the guilt will come in waves, some of this she will project onto you ... some she will swallow and try to deal with.
She will act differently ... maybe hate you more, maybe blame you, ask why you forced her into this mess, maybe nice you into things she wants ... regardless your dynamic has shifted considerably so I would suspect 'movement' by her.
This A will run its course, just the fact there is light on it now. Time will tell.
I've already experienced this. The day I confronted her and finally got the admission, we spoke on the telephone after speaking in person. She was sad. Even reinforced her idea that I am a better person than her. I asked her why she thought I was a better person and she said "Look at you. You could forgive me after what I have done." This was after I told her that if she ended it and committed to us that I would forgive her.
Then the very next day, when she found out how I got the evidence, she raged at me. Called me a scumbag and told me she hates me and just wants me out of her life. Told me that it "didn't have to be this way. That what she did was wrong BUT she had told me that she wanted a divorce a year ago and that I wouldn't let her".
So yeah, the gas lighting and playing the victim card continues. That is a pretty big shift from one end of the spectrum (guilt and remorse and stating what a good person I am) to the other (hate, yelling and blaming me for her choices and actions).
