new here

[lonelee]

Thank you.. the overnite was a success. We had fun nice dinner some dancing some coffee.

I waited till the ride home and decided to touch upon the OW a little.
He said he hasnt talked to her in about a month and he doesnt think about it very often. I said my impression was that it was more on her end that things were slowing down and I knew from our discussions previously that I felt he really was interested in a relationship with her. He said no that was not the right impression and that he hasnt reached out to her and that when he was moving out he really didnt know what the future relationship would be with her, probably because she is married too with children and GC.

I said that I wanted to be sure to give him the space and time that he needs and I was concerned that by me being available to him would cloud things for him so to speak and I wanted to be respectful of his needs right now. I also said I dont want to be in a triangle relationship either. He understood what I meant . He also stated he hasnt done anything with me that he hasnt wanted to do.

In the sceam of things there really isnt anything any different about the way I feel about us or the situation with OW than before I asked. It doesnt change things much. Now is not the right time to ask about him and our R or demand that he make a decision or vow his commitment that he is done with a letter etc. There may be a time in the future that I would require those types of things but we are not there yet.

We did talk about how he is feeling and his stress level and that is much improved for him which is great. He is living very simplistic with no clutter.. makes his bed daily and the house is neat and tidy when he leaves and comes home and that is comforting to him. I totally get it.

I know theres lots here in our home that would / did make him anxious that I can do physically to make it better for him here. However after talking about it some I bet he wont be able to move back home. The house is 4 bedroomn 2 and 1/2 baths two living rms etc.. needs some fixing up cosmetically but I dont think he has it in him to do anything about it. Certainly not right now and probably not in the future. This is ok for me as we had talked previously about selling anyway. He talked a bit about "we" can do xyz to the rent house to make things better there. I didnt comment on that.. just thought huh hes saying "we"... haha

So I am hopeful still. We are a long ways from reconcilliation at this point which is fine . I like were we are at right now. We both admitted at how much we are learning about ourselves right now which is perfect. I was concerned about how I would feel about us going seperate ways after spending the night together and im really fine right now. Didnt get sad or tear up like I thought I might. Im good. Maybe it will happen later .. I dunno.. maybe this how im suppossed to feel.

I feel really peaceful for now...