Hey Jim, I'm sorry to hear that. I think your reply to your W was fine, and I think your strategy is a sensible one. Yes, there is no need to accept the grounds as such - and no need to contest them either. My L told me that the avenue of contesting is a costly one and why go there.
It would be best if your W were able to be more collaborative and 'agree' the unreasonable behavior grounds. But she may well not be in that place just now. In my case I received a draft and we would have been able to comment on the wording if I so wished. I'm not sure if that is routine or whether it is because we both have collaborative L's. In any case, I was grateful for that and it has spared me some further hurt.
One good thing about this for you Jim, is that you don't have to make a decision about filing for D. It has been done for you, and in my sitch I have found some peace in that.
I hope that your W will get to a place where she owns her part in the demise of your M, and your relationship mellows. But that may not happen soon and one thing I have learned is that the main thing here is who you are becoming/have become as a result of this difficult time. That is the determining factor in how rich and full your life will be going forwards.
Just a thought - but did you ever have a look at the Divorce Recovery Workshops at all? There are a number of groups in the Midlands. Plus there's a weekend workshop in early November? It could be support and GAL rolled into one perhaps?
Do you have the kids this weekend Jim? Or some nice GAL plans?? I'm sending a big hug to you my friend....your wisdom and gentle challenges have helped me a great deal on this forum.
(((((((((((((((Jim)))))))))))) xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
