Thanks Zeus! I feel as though I took a very tiny step forward but at least it's progress! I am learning I can feel those feelings it's much harder than just being angry and acting out but they do tell me things they make me think they allow me to rind myself I'm getting stronger I can make decisions about my emotions I can handle them in a positive way and they help to remind me I not in the pest place there were much worse times before and probably will be ahead!
Why should I refer to h as my ex? I understand he technically is but a part of me feels due to the way things are we rnt completly split up no denial the Words and most actions say we are just looking for some more thought on that!
I am realizing every time I feel different emotions I look inside to see what they are! At first I started to get angry then I realized it wasn't anger it was sadness and hurt I was covering up with anger. Why get angry about it be is going to do it anyways?! Sure it hurts very bad but I am not going to make him understand that and it won't change what he is doing so instead of being angry I can feel the other emotions!
Hi pp! Thanks for taking the time to read my crazy sitch! I have a long ways to go but at least I'm moving forward! This feelings thing is exhausting I feel more depressed and tired then when I was just angry I hope that subsides also! I have also felt less anxious I was very anxious before I even had to go on medication for it ;(! It does stink but I will survive!
4, you're doing just amazing. 60 days since you've registered and you've made huge strides.
I'd encourage you to reread your old threads and see what you have learned. It's a confidence boost, and also might be beneficial for other reasons.
If you're asking me to pick a title for your next thread, how about 'independence day'? Maybe you could start taking baby steps towards breaking free...keep going!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I agree with Zeus. You have come a long way in just 60 days and think what you can do in another 60, and then before you know it, six months have gone by and you've come a really long way!
Independence Day sounds like a good title, and it's a great idea to focus on the positive and call the thread something about where you are heading and what you are striving for.
Hope you're having a good weekend 4 xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Zeus I meant should I move to infidelity forum instead of newbie lol!
No. His behavior is trivial compared to your working through your responses, understanding where it comes from, growing stronger, setting boundaries, and getting on your own two feet. I think infidelity would make sense if you were both in a committed R and he had an A, definitely not the case here. Besides, this forum gets all the traffic.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Zeus I will go back and read my previous threads and look for the changes I have made.
Thanks sotto. I agree a great thread name!
You are right we are not in a committed relationship. It is a place where I want to save it and he is calling OW his girlfriend yet still ML to me. I will continue working on myself growing into a person I can respect and can be respected. If that is not good enough then it is not good enough. I will be ok!
Hi 4, I'm just throwing this out there for you to think about. You say that he is calling OW his GF yet still ML to me. But also, he is calling OW his GF and you are still ML to him.
How do you feel about that from a self-respect and a health perspective? I'm not judging - please don't think that. But I do think it is important to think about this area.
IMHO, it would be perfectly reasonable to say to him you don't want to ML, given his ongoing R with OW. Does ML actually perpetuate this repeating pattern of cheating in your R?
Just some food for thought anyway 4. Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
HI Sotto! Health perspective NOT GOOD. Self-respect at this time I do not have much of that. In my head if he is still ML to me he is cheating on her so it must not be to serious. Its almost like revenge? I know sounds terrible but that is what it is. Usually I instigate it so it would be him saying no. I am sure if I did not instigate it it would not happen. Part of me feels like ML just prolongs the inevitable. He is going to do whatever he can to make his R with OW work so he does not look like the bad guy it is his repeated cycle. He ALWAYS dates whomever he cheats with. When he is done with them he usually comes back to me. Not fair and I am trying to break this cycle. If he comes back again I want to be able to set boundaries and have a healthy relationship. I do not know if he will come back this time or not I can NOT control that I can only work on me right now.
I am bouncing between should I leave or should I stay. I think if I leave he will have a rude awakening but I know he will immediatly bring OW around. If I stay at least he can see daily I am working and making changes.
