I was just journaling (in my real journal, which, believe it or not, is actually MORE wordy than the one online...) and realized I didn't see a repeat baby step this morning. Maybe because I have become accustomed to HUGE baby steps, I have become blind to the smaller ones. Do repeat baby steps count? Or is it only when a baby step is done for the first time that it counts?
Anyway, H gave me his usual goodbye hug. Then, I asked him to take out some of the garbage, and I would do the rest. He came and gave me a second hug and I got bouncy. I said (in my cutest voice, of course) "fill me up, fill me up with hugs!!!" Well, he just laughed at me and got this really happy look on his face and gave me a HUGE bear hug and bounced me up and down a few times. (Yes, despite my 50+ pounds to lose, H can still pick me up. Whew!)
Then he text'd me "have a good day" on his car ride in. And at break, he emailed me paintball stuff that is on eBay. (I'm looking for a new paintball gun and he was looking for me.) His subject line had in it and I made up a cute song in reply. He replied "OK ok you made me smile. "
So, it's not that I am discounting this stuff, but I have been looking for NEW baby steps. What do you think? Am I crazy? Should I be loving this attention and forget making new steps for now? This is part of the new PATIENT me, but I want to be sure I am correct and should just lay back and love what I get from him for now.
Maybe I should take a cue from Janis Joplin and love the love I have and not take what little I get for granted.
I'm so patient, oh so PATIENT, so patient and HAPPY and FREEEEE! That's MEEEE!
