All About Me?! Scared!

[Zues126]

4, you're doing the right thing by posting a lot. Seriously, thank you for the participation.

Here's the bad news...there is no way around feeling bad for a long time. Just none.

You can stay. You can go. You can journal on these forums. You can find a rebound partner. You can go to church. You can drink bottles of wine a night. You can run, but you cannot hide. You are suffering the worst loss I can imagine, so it will hurt.

The good news is that you are learning healthier ways of dealing with your emotions. Facing them head on. Not letting them control your reactions. Listening to what they have to tell you, and making changes that will lead to you feeling better more and more often in the days ahead. Some of those changes may be external (like establishing boundaries that protect you, avoiding fights and ML with your ex, and so on), but many more are internal and really all about you nurturing yourself. Note- I recommend referring to him as your ex.

My therapist tells me two things about emotions. Number one, people aren't afraid of THINGS...they are afraid of the emotions they will experience when those things happen. Number two, emotions don't kill you. You won't melt. It's not fun, but you can handle feeling like crap. So - when you learn that you can handle $hitty emotions, you will be less afraid all of the time, because you'll trust yourself. Remember, whatever comfort you want from your ex or others, give it to yourself, and know that you can get through this.

You're doing great. You're not the newbie anymore. I remember your first post and my first reply. I'm very impressed with your progress. Be proud of yourself for the steps you've taken. Tomorrow you can take some more. Tonight just know we feel your pain and agree it stinks.