Look at this from above, you going out to dinner gets your WW spinning, in a jealous "Oh so he can afford to go out to dinner while I have to borrow money for HIS kids to bowl" ... understandable as the reality is really starting to conflict with the fantasy she has in her mind. The BGP are bunching up an bit and its much easier to spew at you than it is for her to smell the crock-pot-of-poo she has been slow cooking.
So you had it out, no big. You could later revisit this, validate that it must be hard to be strapped finacially .. just think about a spin where you can simply understand how she feels ... you do not have to fix it, nor should you come at it from a place of "Well you chose this path not me" .... simply allow her to know you are trying to understand how she FEELS without going in to rescue her.
She will toss that D out there because its the only thing she has left to hurt you with right? ....Fights, BD, leaving, OM, OM2 .. whats left? Next time, do not take that bait, let it float by, validate and then end the conversation and go about your day ... live and learn right?
There are stages to this .. not taking the bait will take you to a new level.
