wife left... not sure what to do next

[dwh15]

Well .... lets at the least get the facts straight.

I was separated almost 2 years ... not 3. And I would never say I 'completely' detached, in fact through out my sitch I have confessed detaching was the one thing I really had a tough time with ... it does get easier as time rolls on ... but in hindsight I could have done much better in this area. My W was not a WW, she was MLC ... as I have mentioned labels are just labels ... often I surmise they are more for the LBS than anything, the approach is the same, the resolve and the willingness to DB and for how long is solely up to the individual.

My feelings on the 'friend' aspect. As I told my W, I treasure the few friends I have, in fact losing one is a very painful experience. That being said I had no room for a 'friend' who would lie/cheat and steal from me, in my personal dictionary that person was no longer a friend.

Sorry about that Cal. I was winging it and didn't have time to go back and look up specifics on your sitch; just going by what I remembered reading. Thanks for clarifying. But my main point remains the same. Anything can happen in the future, whether it be tomorrow, next week, next year, we never know.

Regarding being friends, you make a good point. In my case, the lies and cheating are a definite with my WW. As far as stealing, I'm not sure but I wouldn't be surprised she has taken things out of the house w/o asking or telling me. It's a gray area, since she technically owns half. But she is certainly willing and in fact feels somewhat entitled to as much financial assistance as she can get out of me. I guess that's stealing in a way. And no, I would not put up with any of that behavior from a so-called friend either, so makes me really question whether WW should get off the hook.

For now, I wouldn't say I'm acting like a friend, but more that I'm being friendly. I hope to be her H again, but if that doesn't work out, then I would hope to someday be "friends"; that would of course depend on whether WW comes to her senses enough to be a true friend and not look at me as someone she can use to her advantage. Who knows - these situations are all so complex that anything is possible.