... We chatted for a bit and EXW broke down and said she's been trying to understand why she left and feels she couldn't cope with the kids anymore and was burnt out. I validated and EXW said she was also worried about the future. I asked EXW if she was happy now and she said no and started crying. I told her that I wanted her to be happy and we finished the call...
Ok, so I am no doubt going to be shot down in flames, but here we go...when we get situations like this do we miss an opportunity because we don't know what to do, DB doesn't cover it?
I say this because it strikes me that when a WS is starting to realise they are in a fog and so it might be clearing, they look around for something they recognise or understand and what's before them is someone who they vaguely recognise but seems alien, so they feel alone. It takes a very strong willed person to ask for help and as a WS likes to appear strong they are actually very weak and so they need assistance yet we don't have a tool in our box to help them, we leave them to come to their senses and maybe reconnect with us at some point. Their confusion then sends them off down some weird and uncharted path and they get worse and our perception of them drops a bit more, the loop then continues until we reach a point sometime in the future when we've almost forgotten who they are, yet there was a thread of a chance earlier on that this didn't have to be.
We are all striving to be lighthouses but does one colour beam or frequency of flashing doesn't fit all. We've made leaps in our thinking so we have a particular flash or hue to our beams. However, they may be unreadable or at an unpercieveable frequency to someone who's been in a fog, so should we try to ensure we vary our output and behaviour so that the WS has something they feel capable of attaching too?
Hopefully this gooble-de-speak makes some sort of sense, but am awaiting the "you've missed something fundamental Beagley..." responses with interest.
As a small footnote, this isn't saying you did anything wrong rd, it's simply what came into my head as I read your post.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
