o, Betsey and Rotts! who was it, Sage? who had a thread called "when the student is ready the teacher appears" or something like that...anyway, that popped into my head as I've read these last few posts...You see, I havent posted much about it here, but control has been a huge issue in our marriage as well, in fact in the first big row we had after I found out about A, he said one of the things that was a big problem was that I always butted heads with him...why did I always do that? That shook me to my shoes, and I made a vow right then and there to QUIT doing that...both of us are oldest, which is a bad combo, because oldest are used to being in charge. OW is a youngest...you guessed it...she likes to let somebody take charge and take care of her... I wish to heck I'd gotten this clue many many years ago....and H was not at all good at helping me get it, although as Betsey said it's against the law to shoot them because they can't communicate well. So, I'm obviously not all the way there yet, but I've backed way off on the control issue....I have to say I'm much better, little things that would have driven me nuts 6 or 8 mos. ago hardly even register now because it did dawn on my dense brain that I was creating this problem in his mind, this was also something OW gave him I didn't, and I had to let it go. It's been very very difficult, but I don't think we even started to make any babysteps until I was able to "check my pride at the door" (I think Michelle said that) and just give it up... This is rambling and probably doesn't even make sense, but I guess the last couple of posts hit a nerve. now that I look at it in relationship to my sitch again, I think this is something I've done right that would have been a big 180 that led to some baby steps... Rottz, you've mentioned being a tomboy, I was also...curious to know if you're an oldest or only child. I'd almost bet Money Betsey is!
Hey Deb, I am the oldest, also the only girl in a HUGE family full of boys. I have a brother, two stepbrothers, and I lived with four of my cousins while in high school. The rest of my cousins are all boys also. So, I consider my cousins my brothers and one of them is older than me.
whew, finally got caught up here! you go Rotz! I'm doing the patience drill myself! You've come a long, long way in such a short time, I have to admit I'm envious!
See, I'm not the only one that feels a little envious of your R. What a family you must have had. I'm actually a middle child, and have taken that control thing to a whole new level.
See, I'm not the only one that feels a little envious of your R. What a family you must have had. I'm actually a middle child, and have taken that control thing to a whole new level.
I never thought of the child/ age issue before, but I have had it in psychology class. It certainly can be a big factor in the way a person grows up and relates to others.
Thanks doc, good to see you and great job getting a kiss from your wife.
Again, nothing to report last night. H seems to be jealous of my time. I was out on a test drive (trying to sell my car) when he got home (earlier than usual). He called to ask what dinner was, which I hadn't started because he is usually home later. And, every time I left the room, he followed to see what I was doing.
I had planned to go to the gym and then do dinner. I went upstairs and started dinner and H went to play PS2 with S13. I got a bit aggravated that he wasn't helping so I could go to do my workout and told him so. I quickly realized that he hasn't been home before 8 in months and revised it and told him that he was right to relax and that I would take care of everything. He seemed to appreciate that, and the rest of the night gave me lots of "thank yous" and compliments for my dinner, etc. So, it worked out alright.
Well, his karate class ran late and I didn't get mine in, so he said he would try to do it tonight. Another night to get close to him is OK with me.
Brought my bike to work and I plan to go riding at lunch. Woo hoo! This should be fun. Maybe I'll find time to do a quick ride after work before dark also. It's time to step up the weight loss efforts.
thanks for the laugh.
