Still DB'ing - Still Learning from WAW (6)

[asitis]

You may be right on the trying to assuage her guilt, but she still is feeling guilty because she recognizes that she is causing someone she still cares for pain. That is a good sign mixed in with a possibly bad sign. It still gives you a couple clues.

First, she still cares about you & she still is focused on you and paying attention. This is an opening to connect and build something (be it friendly relations, friendship, or something more). Also, she is watching & will see your 180s, your GAL, your detachment, your lack of pursuit, and this will have an impact on her. Where that will lead isn't clear, but when you make a change, you know that it will have some impact on your dynamic. That is a really good thing.

Second, if you get the vibe that she is assuaging her guilt, then you know she is still wanting space and that you need to keep away from any pursuing behavior and just keep your GAL & friendly detachment. Not time to start suggesting doing things together yet. Now, whether she actually feels this way is a hunch on your part, so you'll need other evidence to give you clues whether your hunch is being confirmed, unsupported, or really, really unclear. Nothing wrong with the cautious approach until you start getting real patterns of behavior that suggest otherwise.

I have to say that I think several of us who have chimed in have seen more positive signs that suggest that while she still may be in the mindset of sticking to her guns, that is taking some will power and there are some feelings (possibly not conscious to her yet) pulling her in the other direction.

Nothing for you to change really. You're doing well in your interactions for the most part. I understand wanting to have a skeptical outlook to avoid getting your hopes up and get hurt further, and of course you are there interacting with her & we are just reading your reports. Still, I'd be a little less pessimistic than you are given what you've told us.

Keep on keeping on.