Az nailed it. I think it's nearly impossible to be friends when you truly still have interest in being the H. Sure, you can fake it in front of her, but it's going to be tough on you. I'm of the same mind that right now I only want to be H with my WW. When I reach a point where I'm done with that and really moved on, then I would definitely want to pursuit a friendship. I also agree about not thinking too much into the future. Anything can happen a year, 3 years, 5 years out. Look at CaliGuy's sitch on this board. He was separated for 3 years, totally detached and even dating when his WW decided she wanted to R. I've heard of people in my local church who got together again 10 years after being D. You just never know, and it's pointless to worry about it. We're in day by day mode - just do your best to get through today.
Well .... lets at the least get the facts straight.
I was separated almost 2 years ... not 3. And I would never say I 'completely' detached, in fact through out my sitch I have confessed detaching was the one thing I really had a tough time with ... it does get easier as time rolls on ... but in hindsight I could have done much better in this area. My W was not a WW, she was MLC ... as I have mentioned labels are just labels ... often I surmise they are more for the LBS than anything, the approach is the same, the resolve and the willingness to DB and for how long is solely up to the individual.
My feelings on the 'friend' aspect. As I told my W, I treasure the few friends I have, in fact losing one is a very painful experience. That being said I had no room for a 'friend' who would lie/cheat and steal from me, in my personal dictionary that person was no longer a friend.
