Azzork, what you are saying makes sense. I just am reporting what I feel. I feel like it is over. I feel like I can not be happy living like this...in limbo waiting for her. I feel she is making a huge mistake and she will soon realize it. I feel like if she told me today that she wants me back I would not want her back. I can't trust that what she says. I can't trust her. I don't want her back after she has caused me this much pain. I know the kids' best interest is for us to stay together. Financially, it is best to jot get a divorce. But, for me personally, I feel like I am killing myself slowly with stress, pain, and fear. She said she wants a divorce. I told her I accept that and let's get it going. I keep asking her when we can sit down and work out the final details. She keeps putting it off. I don't know what she is up to. OM is also getting a divorce right now. I wonder if their affair is on the rocks already or of she is getting ready to drop another bomb - like serving me papers that are not 50/50 custodsy, include child support, or if she is now trying to figure out how to get me out of the house and her back in. She did message me the other day and asked me why she had to be the one to leave the house n I told her again that I thought it best for the kids that I have them in the house for stability while she searches for happiness.
