For instance, the last couple days, I've just been wrestling with why she won't really explain herself and why she really thinks divorce is the answer. There is still a big sore spot in me from that, even if I wouldn't like the answer, it is hard for that sore spot to heal when you keep poking it by wondering.
That's something I thought about very early on in my sitch and it bothered me also. So many questions, so few answers. The truth is she may not give you an explanation or answer because she may or may not even have one. Even if she did, she may not feel she needs to explain herself to you. It's her life after all, she can do whatever she pleases with it. Nothing you can do about that but accept its her right to chose how she lives.
Is that something you can accept, that she may D you and never give you a real explanation? That she may never speak of your M again, that there may never be that moment where the fog lifts and she regrets anything?
She may walk away from your M and never look back again, no second thoughts, no regrets, no unhappiness. I don't think any of us can accept that early on, but it is a possibility.
So, can you move forward knowing there may never be an answer to some questions?
Zues gave me something along these lines early on As:
You may get half the truth in three years, so be ok with that.
It [censored], but it's true. Her version of why she's doing this is going to go through so many iterations anyway, it just depends on the day you talk to her.
My W originally told me she left "to save your life". But then when I told her I had gotten sober added "I thought you would just explode into drinking, doing drugs, and sleeping around as soon as I left and would go as dark as dark could go. Thus I had to move far away." Very different than altruistically leaving me to save my life...
Your W may not want to say anything for a dozen and a half reasons, none of which would make sense to you, nor which make sense to her.
Sorry As. It_is_what_it_is.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
