Betsey, that was such an insightful note you posted. Thank you. I have tried to see things from his perspective, but I didn't see it like you put it. You may be right.
I began DBing 2/13 and saw results 2/15. Perhaps that has set me up for lacking patience. You're correct that I probably should be more patient, and I am used to getting my way. I probably do insert my will more than I should.
I just posted to Dazed that I feel I am in control. I honestly do. I could say to my H tonight that I know we will work out because he stepped on my toe this morning, and I swear, he will repeat that back to me later in his own words. OK, I am making an extreme example here, but it's true. Whenever I say anything about "us" he believes me. He has always looked up to me as having all the answers. I have avoided doing this of late because I want any changes in his heart to be from his heart, not my will. But now I see that you're right, I have been very wilfull.
He is very troubled by his friend's sitch and very overwhelmed. He has come to depend on me so much through this that he wants me to tell him how to stop his friend from committing suicide. Of course, I can only tell him what research says, I can't make this guy do anything.
That was an awesome post, thanks again for opening my eyes to some troubling actions on my part. It looks like I need to practice some more loving detachment.
