The truth of it Caliguy, she is together, and moving forward with her plans and life. It's just her life without me.
I just have to accept it, and intellectually I do that she is fine without me, can function, has a great career, jets off with her AP, and laughs and is doing fine.
Me? I'm the LBS with the IC, the shrink, the support group, the GAL activities that I force myself to do, theone who struggles to fill up my days, the one who struggles daily. Not her.
So, I don't agree with the "She's in crisis mode". I'm the one in crisis mode and that is what really scares me. it's not her, but me. That is the really scary part. I always joked that W picked up misfits and weirdo's to rescue and then it occured to me, that's how she saw me.
Now which category do I fit into?
That there .. ^^^ ... is called Stinkin Thinkin.. cut yourself some slack.
You said yourself she Looks a mess ... the crisis is affecting her physically, and who knows deep down what she is going through.
Yes you have support groups and IC, why? Because you are doing the right thing and working on yourself while she is running away from the issues that put her into this mess to begin with.
Heavy you struggle to fill your days because like so many of us you gave them unselfishly to your W and family .. no crime in that, now you feel like a baby giraffe on those long new legs that were just handed to you... give yourself a break here, you were in a LONG relationship and have forgotten what its like to be solo ... your W, well .. she took all those emotional feelings, the good ones, and simply transferred them to someone else and she is trying to make OW wear those just as you did ... problem is they will never fit .. over time OW will feel uncomfortable in them, realize she can not fill YOUR shoes and at some point that A will implode. My W's A took 2 years from start to end to implode ... but as much as she swore they were soul mates and made for each other ... poof .. gone .. 24 months from "I'm leaving my wife.... how's your marriage" to "Never contact me again" for soul mates they didn't last long.
