Yes, I took a break from the board for a while to just clear my head. I am sick of thinking about all of this, you know?
I am still just doing my thing, trying to be the best I can be and be the best Mom I can be and the best employee I can be and the best friend I can be, etc...
It is still hard and again having to relearn so much of what I took for granted, cooking blanaced meals, picking out clothes from the store, knowing kids sizes, homework, and everything that goes with raising two wonderful kids who deserve so much more and do not deserve to have to go through this emotional pain.
I have good days and some bad days but at least I am having some good days. I struggle with feeling hopeless and have lost the joy in my life. I recognize this as depression and get help for it but I KNOW that God has a plan that I just can't see yet. I KNOW there is a good life for me and the kids but I just can't fully grasp it yet.
We are living our lives fully, and I am not waiting until I find the joy to "live". We are living regardless. I hope that makes sense. I am trying hard to shake the feeling of hopelessness and living without joy.
