Thank you for the input. I am not doing his laundry. I'm not cooking either (Well he is never home when I am ) We are not sharing a bed because he sleeps on the couch when I'm there. I only see him maybe 5 min in the morning usually.
I had another session with DB coach this morning. We talked about "lovingly detaching" He suggested I should continue to be happy and upbeat around H because H said he doesn't feel like he can make me happy.
When/If H makes sexual advances, coach thinks it's ok for me to let him know I want it but I can't because I have self-respect, instead of making it to seem like I'm turning him down because I'm punishing him/he's a loser.
I asked coach about how to talk to him about boundaries on money, time-management (bc H was late coming home in the morning a few times for me to go to work) etc, and he suggested to make it collaborative instead of sounding like punishment or demand. Like " We need to figure this out, what do you think we should do?" Coach thinks H is still very confused and a good person within him appears and disappears, and that punishment (or if H thinks it is) is never productive in such case...
I know all this sounds like I'm giving him much more respect than he deserves right now, but I'll give it a try and see how it goes.
