Overcome, a friend of mine is a marriage therapist. After BD when H was raging at me, she met me for lunch and we talked. She told me that when she sees clients and one of them is expressing anger and hatred she knows that she can work with them. Its when she sees indifference that she suspects the relationship is really over.
That said, it is awful to be on the receiving end of anger. I came to this conclusion, and I might be wrong. But I think for me, my H is angry with himself. And he has poor boundaries and views me as an extension of himself, so he takes it out on me. So that it leaves the rest of "himself" intact to go about functioning, going to work, etc. Which is why I notice the more I GAL and detach the less he rages at me, because suddenly I am not just an extension of him any more, he is starting to view me as a separate person.
