as_it_is - my adventure continues (part 4)

[asitis]

It is more that she hasn't shared enough for me to understand. I know she has given it a lot of thought, and that this is very hard for her. I also know that I have to respect her wishes even if I don't understand them. And, quite frankly, that is the only path that makes sense in terms of building a healthy and potentially loving R with her.

On the one hand, I am still not understanding her and that bothers me. On the other, I am able to focus on myself and my life and let her truly have the space that she feels she needs to care for herself. How could I do otherwise? Ultimately, I do love the woman. I do have an R with her. I am doing right by both of those. That can't be wrong, and the truly letting go really is the only path that has any possibility for reconciliation. Not that it's always easy, but accepting that and being able to really take your focus off her (and even when I've said I'm focused on GAL in the past, I realize that I still had more focus on her than myself, and that this wasn't good for me, her, or our R/M).

Hang in there. It took me a long time to get to that point. I don't see anyway around that, so I don't beat myself up over it. Patience is for yourself as well as your sitch.