Have i been making mistakes too long part 5

[dwh15]

Its so weird that so many of us have similar problems.

I have regained some dignity and its growing every day. I really fell hard at BD and didn't recover very quickly. Im embarrassed at all the begging and crying I did. That's not like me at all. I never thought I would act like that. I felt like I was in a bad dream. It was relentless.

I just hope I can keep up the work that I have been learning here. Wish me luck.

Don't feel bad about the begging, crying, pleading, etc. A lot of us do that at the beginning. Yes, it's not very manly and a little embarrassing to look back on, but I don't think it's necessarily a terrible thing. Probably not very attractive, but at least you show your W that you do care. Now it if went on for weeks, that would become just needy and annoying, but a couple of good cries in front of the W, I personally think might be a good thing. At one point, my WW actually tried telling me the only reason I didn't want a D was because it would cost too much. I lost it right there in front of her. To reduce 24 years together down to a simple matter of money killed me. And I honestly think she believed it until she saw me totally break down. Then I got a half-hearted "I'm sorry". So at least she knows. I won't be showing that side of me to her again for a very long time, if ever, but she realizes how bad she hurt me.