A bit of weirdness, she texted Saturday and asked our S to tell her what her car license tag number was/is. The only reason I could think would prompt her for that was for a hotel. I knew she was away for the weekend. I ignored the text.
Friday night was rough - long day for the kids and around 8:30 my S10 starts to cry saying he misses W. I sat down with him, held him and said "yes, I miss her too, and I know this is hard." I said "We want Mom to be happy right?" "She is doing what makes her happy and her apartment is really cool right?" He said "Yes, but her being happy makes me suffer." I just held him and said "You know what, we will get through this, and we are going to be OK". You know that right? He then calls W and leaves a tearful message on her phone.
Of course, his trears trigger D6 to start crying and I had the same convo with her and then we started to read some books to distract her. She finally fell asleep with me rubbing her back. So, hard Friday night.
After that false start, we had a good weekend with a lot of GAL, cookout with two families in our backyard, I grilled hamburgers and hotdogs. Movie with a friend her her son. I arranged for a sleep over with my son with his friend which he loved. My D6 and I had special time and we watched a movie, and read books and giggled a lot. She really loved the one on one attention. And we had first day of soccer practice for both S10 and D6. That was fun but hot. Church and Sunday school was good too.
Monday, back to school and work for me. I took the kids to Doctor's appointment which was hard for S6 who cried hard at the thought of a shot/finger stick. So for now, I see the routine of 1). Work, no kid week, and 2). Work with kid week.
This kid free weekend, I have an adult birthday party lined up with a new friend. I have a dinner lined up midweek with another friend. I have replaced 5 screens at the house and have painted the front stoop and a few areas that needed it. I have worked in the garden, shoveled dirt, raked dead grass, everything I could think of to stay busy.
What I need more of is adult interaction/conversation. I am working on it, again, smiling a lot, talking to strangers, going outside of my comfort zone, like the SPIN class at the Y. I have joined a couple of online dating sites, but still the prospects of dating seem well, forced. More than anything I would like a friend. I am so very lonely.
Am I feeling any better about all of this crap ola? Mornings are still very hard. As soon as I wake up, it hits me, ahhh yes, I am still here and this is still reality. So, I get up as soon as I can and start doing something, anything to stay busy.
