AnitaSues, I just get the cellphone bill emailed rather than get a paper version. I do that with a lot of my bills.
No, the fear on his face was when I came back into the room (I had gone for a drive immediately after he hung up so that I could cool off) and he thought I was going to leave him. When he was on the phone, he had told me it was his work (she was calling from his work, so his caller id said his work name) and he didn't think he could hear me. So, he definitely didn't think I heard her or her words. But his volume was up so high, I could hear every word out of her mouth. Not to mention I have incredible hearing anyway. (She isn't engaged, she's married with several kids. Part of why I couldn't understand why H did this, he hardly needs more kids around. But, that's also one reason I know he was not serious about her. He wouldn't break up a M or take on more kids. He'd never leave me for her, in other words. I believe she was "safe" for him because it could never become anything more than just a fling for him.)
And as far as him not knowing what he wants, he has been saying for some time that he doesn't know what he wants out of life. I thought he was going throuh a MLC (maybe a small one) at the beginning. He has always sacrificied for his family, which he never wanted and wasn't ready for, and he never had a chance to "grow up" or do things for himself.
I have so many goals and things I do, that he was feeling like he didn't have any direction in life and didn't know where he wanted to be or to go. I didn't help by always asking him where he wanted to be in 10 years, or what his goals were. Then I'd get upset that he didn't have plans. He is just a laid back person that wanted to live life to the fullest and not care about his future. That's what our financial planner is supposed to be for. Well, I pushed him and pushed him until he finally felt like there was something missing from his life and that he was wrong for not having more defined goals. My fault, I wish I could take it back and just let him be himself. Who knows, this may never have happened this way if he wasn't trying to "find himself."
