dazed is right, this is not a burden that you have to take from him. I did some strange things when I felt guilty. But you said yourself that if the M is going to work, he need to let it work and the first step to healing is for him for forgive hmself, which beleive it or not is harder than it sounds. My ex told me twice that he forgives me. I still didn't get it, heck every year that I went to cofession, I would confess the same things, till one time the priest said okay, stop doing this, its over, get on with your life. So finally I forgave myself but I had help with a c. I told my ex that I didn't think I deserved his forgivness either. I hope the fear on his face was because you were in the room when she called. I still don't get why he said yes to her question the other day--because he just wanted to get her off the phone? I would think that that would be a perfect opp to show you how much he loves you and tell this girl off, I mean she's engaged to someone else, so who cares about her feelings. and yes, he is treating you tender, he wants to make sure that you will be there for him. Which you have already let him know that. I don't understand why you get the cellphone billed emailed to you--did you request that or is this his way of letting you know that he does not call her. I think the reason why he keeps reminding you that he doesn't know what he wants is because he doesn't! He needs to work on himself to forgive himself and then he can work on what he wants. Guilt comsumes you so much. I wouldn't bring it up again, but if the subject comes up, tell him you forgive him and that you are there for him. I didn't wait for my ex to forgive me, I went to him twice and told him how sorry I was and ASKED to be forgiven. I think that was a turning point for me, when I was staring to forgive myself, I asked to be forgiven from ex. Again, just keep doing what you are doing, give him some space and be there for him.
