I am glad you are willing to look at yourself in this...it is an absolute necessity for you to come out at the 'Woman you want to become.'
"This is just me thinking this through, but I guess I never thought about thanking/praising him for doing things that were just expected of you. I never got a thank you for cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, taking care of the pets, etc. I see how that can lead to resentment. Why not thank him? What’s the harm? I know now what the harm is in not being grateful. LOL"
I could type for a month and not succinctly express how I feel about this topic. Both spouses contribute to this. Both spouses built up resentment for years for not feeling appreciated. I know that is ultimately why I am here, among many others.
you are here so that it is why you must be the first to say, 'why not' and just do it. First you will have to let go of your resentment of his unappreciativeness towards you in the past(is that a word...it is now). Why? because we do things out of love and do not expect things in return. That is true giving out of love. that is showing how we feel without expectations or attaching a result to what we do. I do understand being angry at not being appreciated. REALLY I DO. we have to give that up at work, at home, in relationships.
Last summer my kids were playing with a bunch of the neighborhood kids in the back yard. they ran through a ground wasp nest and holy hell broke loose. I finally got them all inside and they were terrorized and wasps were still clinging and stinging them all. Anyways fast forward through the eradication of those pests. my neighbor is an ER nurse. she came over and put on some witches brew with lavender oil and a bunch of other stuff and started treating all five terrorized pre-teens. it was amazing.
anyway, the next day I took my boys and got flowers and had them go to her house and give them to her with a nice thank-you note. She started crying and hugged me...evidently she had not been given flowers in a decade and a half of marriage. she had not been told thank-you in a way that mattered to her for EVERYTHING she does.
made me think quite a bit about my marriage. I have gotten wife flowers as a thank-you once or twice a month for the last year. I know I've posted this before. It is just a minor reminder to my wife how much I appreciate her efforts. I honestly don't EXPECT anything back for the minor little gifts. it makes me feel good doing it.
And as Azz said, you are not quite dark with a little one in the mix, so there will be plenty of chances to shine as you are becoming the light!!!
