I have not read that (I will, I need to use this to learn but I am reading a lot of material at the moment haha), but I am not only talking about physical touching. I am talking about like random text messages saying "I love you" throughout the day, randomly giving her flowers or simply kissing her before I left for work (I left while she was still sleeping but she would always wake up slightly as I left). But I am sure I could have done more. Thinking back though, she did not seem to be very affectionate toward me. Maybe I needed more of that.
The book is very enlightening. Yes, what you listed are ways of showing love. But there are others. or example, one of my big ones is "Acts of Service". So I think "oh, I just emptied the dishwasher. Thats me showing you that I love you." But if my wife doesnt also have that language, then she just thinks "yay. clean dishes." At the same time, if she isnt using the same language, then I will feel unloved or unappreciated.
Originally Posted By: pinn
I think that is exactly what she is looking for or has found. I know we cannot get that aspect back but think there are things we could do to bring us emotionally closer and we could still have a great marriage. I don't know how she could come to that realization though.... everything seemed to happen so fast.... crazy
Again, what you are describing seems to be that drug rush of a new relationship. No. You cant get that back. Works the same as with drugs right. The first few times you get that incredible high, but then your body adjusts and it just isnt quite the same any more. It sounds like she is chasing that first high. You cant give that to her anymore....you just cant. Dont beat yourself up over it.
As to things happening fast, I posted this to Mutatio earlier today. It's really like watching a lake freeze from the bottom up. On the surface, you dont notice anything happening. But once that top part freezes you discover the entire [censored] thing is a giant block of ice. Of course it looks sudden to you....you only JUST saw the top layer freeze! But to the lake, its been freezing for months/years.
