I have anxiety and fear since all I think about is expecting the worst and hoping for the best. That's what all my divorced friends tell me.
I want this done but dreading what he's gonna do or say.
He hasn't had any visitation with our children since 072215. He had text that he'd see them at their counseling session on 081815. Which he did, however, the counseling session wasn't a visit as much as a bashing session against me ...in front of our children. Why?
UGH! My poor babies. The counselor had to reign him in and say that it's become a blame game and to focus on the boys instead.
Of course, his narcissism surfaces. Cuz this is about him. He plays the victim. He even told the counselor that our marriage was so bad and that's why he had the affair (the one I forgave him for and he has a child with) so that I would leave him. He said this to the counselor during his session with our children. How does that make them feel?!
So frustrating.
Anyway, I just spoke to a friend of mine who went through a divorce 5 yrs ago and he suggests that I remain quiet. BE ZEN LIKE! Ummm...that's hard!
Especially since I'm asking for: 1) my children's well being and safety- physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Asking for full custody. 2) Health Insurance for me to continue my treatment. 3) Child support and spousal maintenance. 4) Respect our children's feelings and not have the OW on every visit or activity. They just want a break from her and her kids.
I don't want to get angry. I pray that the mediator, my H, & his atty will be merciful toward me and my children.
I expect his dad or his cousin(atty/judge) will be there to fill his head with ideas. Remembering that he plays the victim - they're deceived.
And just to add, his atty keeps wanting my health info-why? Cuz his dad put that on the table several months ago since I think they expect me to die. My atty has refused that kind of info. Why is that even on the table? ** sigh!**
Luv y'all my beautiful friends. Your stories continue to inspire me and give me hope. Y'all are AMAZING!!
Praying for VICTORY! Praying for peace, wisdom, discernment, strength and COURAGE! I don't want to give in or be a door mat. Also praying for my atty to be strong. Lord help me!
I'll let y'all know what happens tomorrow.
One more thing- treatment continues to help. It'll be lifelong as long as it continues to work. Which it is - yay!
