Thanks Lonelee for your insight. I am still reading too much and expecting too much. i will look at detachment again. Going dark and detachment different?
Yes yes yes yes yes yes. VERY different
Going dark is essentially falling off of the face of the earth to your spouse. No contact unless they initiate. This is a great tool to help switch the pursuer/distancer dynamic. It will also give you the space you need to detach and them the space to miss you.
Detachment is about disconnecting your emotions from his actions, thoughts, feelings words, etc. it's about becoming emotionally independent. If you fall off the earth but still check his Facebook every day, that's not being detached.
