Luke, its a hard road to walk, yea? Sometimes you feel you know exactly where you are, other times you feel a little lost.
They are pushing you on here right now for a reason.
The thing is that I get the fear and the walls and all the other stuff. I do. It isn't easy putting all of that to rest.
But sometimes we get so hung up on where and how we think things should be that we forget to just live, ya know?
We have new tools and new ways of getting through stuff so sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and see where we land.
I cant tell you if she is fully committed or not. I don't even know what that would look like, to be honest. I would imagine it would mean a commitment to do better, an honest apology for the past, a willingness to work together towards a common goal, a rebuilding of trust and open communication.
What does fully committed mean to you? I think when one is in a situation like yours, there can be some small part that wants the spouse to beg for forgiveness and profess their undying love over and over.
It doesn't happen that way...nor should it. You want to allow it to unfold slowly, with both of you having realizations of what you want and how you got here. You want it to be a gradual rebuilding of a foundation so that it's strong.
That all takes time and patience and most of all...love. Really, at the end of the day, that's the bottom line. This is someone you love and who loves you.
Maybe it isn't happening in the exact way you had hoped. Maybe it is almost anticlimactic in some ways.
My friend, don't worry so much about the push/pull dance and all of that other stuff all the time.
And don't be afraid to open yourself up to the possibilities...and just live.
