Cali, this is a bit unrelated to the helpful posts above, but I thought of you today when I was driving home from work. I've been reading some Hearts Blessing stuff lately and one of the things she talked about was being adept at moving easily between attachment and detachment.
When attached, she was working together with her H to rebuild things, but she developed the ability to detach instantaneously (internally) as and when needed. And from what she said she flipped back and forth quite a bit, which helped weather the inevitable ups and downs of reconciling.....just thought I would post it as I thought of your sitch and of what she wrote and thought it might be useful.
Take care xx
Sotto
I am familiar with HB ... and yeah .. there is alot of truth to that and I do catch myself flipping that 'on/off' switch often. Its really to me more of the Push-Pull dance. I have to detach .. give her space and let her do her thing, then she comes back hard ... alot like during the crisis .. she did the same thing but the throws were longer and tool longer for the return trip if that makes any sense.
Trick is ... not detaching out of punishment, just with a shrug and that faith knowing she will come back. Its definitely a delicate dance, not to push to much, but nudge here and there, keeping the boundaries up without the walls, being open for the hug while protecting your tiwg n berries.
Anyways .. I crack myself up ... but yeah you are spot on with that advice ... thank you!
