Happy, I don't blame your h one bit, I would ignore you too. It's better than coming out and saying something hurtful. Besides, you've hurt his feelings because he thought he was doing something nice for you. You run hot and cold. He's not a mind reader and doesn't have a crystal ball that tells him what you want on any give day. Here's what I suggest, you both need to sit down and have a conversation about gift giving. Obviously he didn't get the memo that you don't want gifts on the anniversary. If he doesn't know ahead of time, how can he know what you want? Communication is the key. Anger and acting like a spoiled young lady isn't going to get you what you want. I can just see you standing there stomping your feet telling him you didn't want the coffeemaker. Haven't I pointed out this behavior to you before?
Here's the deal, crisis people are numb to their spouses. They are depressed and they don't have feelings for us. Your h has been trying for quite some time to feel something for you. Be grateful for his baby steps.
You've been on the MLC Forum for quite some time and know what happens with the MLCer. Your h is a kinder, gentler MLCer and you should be on your knees thanking the dear Lord that he is. If you can't accept that he may be in crisis for a while longer, then maybe you need to think about doing something different. Maybe the two of you need a break from each other for a while...that will be something that you and your h will need to decide.
Continue to stomp your feet and I won't be surprised to hear that he's decided he's had enough.
I honestly do not have any more advice for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
