Thats the thing .... and maybe you can shed some light here. The "Demons" or 'Something' from her past has always been there.
We are shaped and formed by our upbringing. It is a part of who we are today. There's no escaping from FOO issues or how the trajectory of events impacted our makeup.
The key in responding to those "demons", in my mind as a former MLCer, is the acceptance of these events that are part of your DNA. For me, I have accepted my parents divorce and am no longer haunted by it. Furthermore, after my late father's passing of lung cancer almost 3 years ago, I visited my grandparents grave for the first time in over 10 years where I really sobbed and let out all of past hurts and disappointments. There was an internal shift that seemed to finally cosign the toothless MLC monster to the dustbin of past history that has zero power to hold me back emotionally.
In hindsight, I did not have the emotional maturity to handle life's natural transitions from various stages. I think this is where many MLCers struggle the most. For me, after some reflection, I was emotionally scarred by my parents' divorce and those fears reared it's ugly head after Ms. Wonka & I moved to our new marital house.
Deep in the recess of my Inner Child's little broken heart, the general feeling was that I was not up to the job of being a bona fide card-carriyng, tax-paying adult with real responsibilities. Some ways, I was not pretend playing the game of Life, but in it! On several levels, that spooked me and I simply couldn't cope with the pressure.
Mind you, the pressure wasn't external. It was how I responded to the new shift and transition as a homeowner with a wife and a potential parent (we discussed having a baby with Ms. Wonka to carry our child). Yep, you could say it was a potent mix waiting to explode.
What did I do in response to these internal fears? I had to get out of Dodge NOW!!!! To save me. Save me from imploding.
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
uring our lives together, on more than one occasion I have had a Dr pull me to the side and ask if she was a rape/molestation victim ... when she goes in for certain tests she has always been extremely uncomfortable ... but nothing ever has come from it. I do not know if its something that has been suppressed, and to be honest I was half way expecting some big revelation about something to this effect once I found out more about MLC.
Who knows the real reason here. Let me share MY experience here. When I went for a OB-GYN visit, the female doctor whipped out the pap smear equipment and I told her firmly that I am not having any of it. Then the doctor looked at me with a concerned expression and gently asked me if "something had happened to you." I said no. I simply didn't want some inanimate object poking into my private parts.
I was never raped or molested by any one. I just didn't like the notion of having some stranger poking around in my private parts. I know, I know....it can detect cancer etc. I'll just take my own chances here.
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
There was a part of me bracing for this ... I have seen/read about traumatic events coming forward to people many years later ... always in the back of my mind with W. And honestly ... not that I wanted it .. but it would not have shocked me for this to have played a role here with her ... again .. all speculation on my part fed by table scraps along the way.
W may or may never share whatever "traumatic" experience with you. Some people DO take their own secrets to the grave. W may be one of those few people that do that. Are you more than okay with this...if W never opens up to you?
This is her journey. This is her story. This is her life.
Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
I think the only thing is ... could she possibly relapse ... that's a rhetorical question btw... one I know no one would have an answer to, nor can I worry about that as just like everything else its far out of my control.
Do you have a deep fear that W may be hit with MLC again? If yes, then what? I mean...you're now on this Merry-Go-Round and you are still standing. It sounds like W is really working on the M and I doubt that MLC will hit her again because she's already begun the process of reintegrating herself. That is crucial as a signpost that she's shedding her MLC snakeskin (or in your case...shark eyes).
