I continue to feel more and more energy. I feel very close to my old self in this area. I cannot believe how fatigued I was these last few years. Also, strange aches I had in depression are gone. Don't know exactly when they disappeared but good riddance.
H seems very lucid these days. He is very aware of what is going on in kids' lives. He notices more of what is going on around him. A friend's son broke the same are for the third time and H was truly sympathetic. He saw I had a burn on my hand and told me to take care of it so it would heal properly.
These last two days he has a glimmer to his eyes again. He is very positive-like his old self. Kids raise an issue and he is able to guide them through decision making process.
He mentioned that he has no interest in initiating contact with old MLC friend. Said he no longer wants to have drinks or go out with him anymore! Maybe I should have validated here but it felt like it would come off like I was his parent. Did not want to seem like I was patting him on the head. In hindsight, wish I had validated given older conversations about this guy.
In height of fog, before H went out with this MLC friend I calmly told him that I thought this guy was not cut from the same cloth as H. (MLC friend has a history of being financially shady and treats his girlfriends like they are disposable.) Rather than tearing down MLC friend I Iifted H above him. Back then his ears perked but he still went out with MLC "friend." Hopefully he told me he does not contact him anymore to let me know he has outgrown MLC companion for good. Fingers crossed here...
H still takes a lot of time to himself. The other day, for first time, he invited me out on one of his walks but told me he may not talk too much as he needs this time to clear his mind and focus. I said I did not need to come if he preferred the solitude. He insisted I come but again said there would be much silence. We took a long walk. I stayed quiet and H chatted the WHOLE time.
Months ago, we each happened to be taking a walk on the beach but did not plan this. We were barely speaking then yet living in the same house. I saw H in front of me but walking the other way. I know he saw me but turned around and pretended he did not. (He had not walked far enough to turn around the other way.) I said hi when he entered his car in the parking lot and I was passing him. He said hi back and off we drove. Those were strange days. Reminds me of the days I left before he came in the door.
Progress is inching forward as the other night he invited me to walk this very same beach.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
