Just wanted to chime in with my 2 cents - I think it takes unprecedented amounts of patience and trying to have absolutely ZERO expectation that seems to work. My W dropped the bomb in September, I went through all the usual pathetic behavior, I bottomed out about a month ago, which ironically enough prompted W to find a counselor, ostensibly to help me deal with her leaving, but guess what?? She likes the C too, and I am seeing teeny tiny baby steps - like a kiss this weekend, asking for a footrub last night. My sitch seems to be a bit less "dramatic" than others here, W is still at home, and if you were to be a casual observer, you would not believe there is anything wrong - we still go ut, go to all the kids' stuff, talk and laugh together - which is why none of this makes sense. But I guess that's why were in counseling, isn't it?
Sorry to hijack, what I meant to say was try to back off a bit, not to appear too desperate, try doing your own thing for a while, play with 180s and see what happens. These things appear to be working for me - especially the chilling out.
