Sounds like the sessions are helpful. Very happy to hear how other experiences can be helpful to you. I think you'll find that there will be more that is helpful as you keep steppin'
Yeah .. for me, just hearing this woman lay it out there. Not only was it what she said, how she so clearly descibed the pain and humiliation ... but the fact that this was 17 years ago and you could still hear the hurt ... made me sit and think, its one thing for someone to go through this .. then you add in the fact she did, managed to salvage her marriage .. but on top of that became involved and was brave enough to share her story in order to help people she never met .... the fact her WAH was sitting right there, having to relive this twice a year ... tough stuff and I respect them so much for what they are doing.
Originally Posted By: AJM
Sad as it is the path taken, if nothing else comes from this experience, it's good to know that after 25 years you can share with each other at a deep and intimate level.
And if you haven't noticed, that level of intimacy is the most priceless part. I know many people are surprised to find that sex or physical intimacy are far better (far far better) if shared with two very intimate people. Oddly, I recall my pre-marriage session with the pastor that married us. He said the same thing. I've known all along he was right, but haven't always known what it would it take to get that to the extent I've learned over the years.
That's the thing, we did have that.... for a long time then it just seemed to fade somehow, life and the things it brings took over and twisted the priorities all up. Now its getting over all that, plus not trying to relive the past 3-4 years.
Originally Posted By: AJM
Sex is easy. Casual relationships are easy. Deep, meaningful, intimate relationships like we all deep down crave? Those are priceless regardless how you get there.
It seems to me, an outsider of sorts, that you are learning skillz that you didn't have before. I think its normal to feel upside down and topsy-turvy while you re-tool. Enjoy the ride, amigo. You can see it's worth it now, can't you?
Enjoy the vacation!
AJ
Yeah .. the Re-Tooling is the 'strange' part ... along with how we are handling the day to day things that would create a fight .. which would lead to that vicious cycle of same old things. We have dipped a toe in that pool here or there, she will bring up a past issue and my goto response has seemed to work here with her, "We do not want to go back to the past, lets focus on what this is really about and stay in the present" ... this has worked in my case. Fighting Fair ... was not always something her and I were good at, she pulls a knife, I would pull a gun only to realize while I was doing that she switched to a bazooka ... result was total devastation and no one 'wins' .... realizing its not about 'winning' and more about understanding the other persons perspective has been a big breakthrough ... its not always easy ... but as I have said before .. its better now than this time last year.
