Vanilla - we have begun discussions on divorce. 6 weeks after getting the bomb drop. She has OM and I am not in her future plans. She has been living at her mom's and told my D:13 looking for an apartment, house to rent, or a house to buy. She wants me to keep the house (I'm so glad I did not leave the house when she asked me to - now I have the opportunity to buy her out and stay here with the kids. It is a small town that we all love with a great school. During one of my now 3 meltdown/blowouts, I suggested to her that she leave since she is the unhappy one. I told her that I am happy here, I love her, my kids, my house, the town, the school. It was the only time she cried in front of me during this nightmare. Although she told D:13 she is looking for a place to live, I believe she is going to move in with OM in the bigger city 10 miles away from our town. I think she is being agreeable so that she can get the papers signed and get to him without feeling as guilty. I don't think I can trust her now and want to take her up on her offer. She is offering to let me buy her out (about $70K), 50/50 custody (with me having them 3 days one week and 4 days the next week), no child support, split assets, split savings. She said we can do this without lawyers. I suggested a mediator and she says we don't need a mediator either. We have been texting each other and working the terms over. It is going smoothly. In my state, we can file without lawyers. I think if I fight her or delay what she wants, she will end up lawyering up and try to take me to the cleaners. OM is coaching her and is currently going through a divorce as well. So, I am going to let her have the D and I am going to move on. I don't think I can trust her anymore if we were to reconcile (she doesn't want to at this point, but even if she wanted to do so in the future - I don't think I could trust her). She has not admitted to the affair even though all the evidence is there. She maintains he is just a friend and he is supporting her. LOL. I don't buy it, but like I said, I don't want to fight it anymore. The two of them are both cheaters and I believe they are meant for each other. I have the opportunity to be the rock for my kids, so I am taking it.
