V is for Vanilla 21

[Zelda09]

I think it could be a nice sequel.
I struggle mostly with sense of reality of past, validating my own experiences.

Even today walking the dog I caught myself wondering, what if he was right about me when he said xyz. It's hard, because the philosophy on these forums is that we need to listen to our partner and learn from them. An abuser doesn't so much hold up a mirror to us, as he holds up a mirror to our worst fears and his own projections.

Everything I read on the web about recovery is about establishing a sense of self-worth. That seems like the cart before the horse, because I can't even untangle my own thoughts.

It's getting better though. If you can write something as a thread that could help people get to the strong reality-grounded place you are, I think it would be really helpful.