wife left... not sure what to do next

[dwh15]

Yes, ignore her birthday, and any other major holiday. Treat her like a nosy neighbor. Sorry you're here, but you will definitely get some great advice. Read all the homework Cadet gave you, and immediately order copies of the Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedies books, and read them cover to cover. Do not let your W know about the books or this site.

It may be hard to not contact your W, but sounds like you have already went over a week, which is good. You are practicing what we call Last Resort Technique (LRT), which basically means you minimize contact and let her feel what life will be like w/o you in it. Be warned, this is going to be a very long, rough road, and you are at the very beginning. Progress will be measured in months or years, not in days. You need to now place the focus on yourself, and do your best to not worry about your W. That does not mean that you do not love her, or act mean or distant, but you become lovingly detached. Never initiate contact. I would suggest ignoring most calls, and try to avoid seeing her in person. You can reply to text messages occasionally, but be polite and short. Always end the conversation first, and leave her wanting for more. It will probably go this way for a few weeks before you see any interest from her at all, and maybe not even then. The idea is to refocus on your own life, and let her live hers. Your W is going through something and needs her time and space away from you to experience it.