Summer of Growth and Acceptance - Part 2

[V2pt0]

Thank you Azzork, E, and EP for your support.

I just want to say that I am so thankful for this forum. Am I still sad and heartbroken that this is how my R with my H will end? Sure. I have shed many tears this past week for sorrow, regret, and remorse for my part in my M. While some of that is sadness for my M, there is also much sadness for my H. I am sad that he does not have the power or ability at the moment to look within, that he views marriage as so disposable, that he turned to an A, and for the future when inevitably he will look back with shame, guilt,and regret. Unless of course he really is a narcissist. I wish I was joking when I say this. I have read a number of articles on divorcing an narcissist and it is describing my H to a T. I do not recognize this man at all. He is taking zero responsibility and has no empathy or compassion in his heart. His only interest right now is H. He is also acting with zero character, hate, and venom. My stomach turns in knots when I even think about his behavior. He seems out to "win" whatever that can be in this situation and at whatever cost.

However, at the same time, I know I am in a much better place then if I would have just given up at BD. I will say to those still fighting for your M who are wondering when and if to give up, that you will know with complete clarity when it is time to walk away. Until then, keep DBing for you and you will be in a much better place if that time comes. I am by no way done DBing, but I am looking forward to truly being able to focus 100% on me and I look forward to what lies ahead in the future.