Always good to get to those core things that one must work on... regardless of your sitch, these are healthy to rid yourself of right ... for YOU ... do not worry about the effects they have on W, while what she has done may have put this all into motion...changing for her is not the way to go about this.
That list of yours, can you see the strings that tie them all together? One leads to the other and so on ... You are Jealous, you try to control, you criticize then you become angry at the results not meeting your own expectations.
Jealousy/Control ... I feel were a couple of the things I had to deal with, something that flared up over my life with W and I put it into my own perspective. What did being controlling and jealous with my W gain me ... well when I acted out this way she simply stopped sharing with me things, which lead to relationships with men underground, this added to the excitement and eventually when the planets aligned a full blown affair. My fears then became reality. Lesson learned, God himself gave us all free will, not even He can control his children who did I think I was to think I could possibly control W? Now ... she either wants to be with me or doesn't, her choice .. free will.
Critisim... was not something I did much of, I was more the Passive/Aggressive type. But same approach ... before you act out in this way you have to sip a STFU smoothie and ask yourself, is this 2.0 type behavior .. or am I letting the hurt little boy talk here? If I could not hear John Wayne/ Clint Eastwood repeat my words I chose not to say them.
Anger ... by far my toughest challenge and my W still reserved even 2 years after BD about this coming out ... I have made huge strides but its like lava bubbling under the surface at times. Patience, breathing, taking a walk to really sort out what is going on, is it an over-reation or should I be upset. Accepting Anger is a natural emotion, not one you always have to suppress helped me out as I felt every time I was angry it was wrong to experience that feeling, which fed it more out of frustration. Sometimes its ok to get mad, its how you deal with that which liberates you from it.
