Duke, Caliguy is giving you excellent advice. It is almost impossible to grade your stitch by another DBer's length of time on any given subject. Every WW is angry, but every WW is not angry for the same period of time.
You have just started and it takes a good while to start digesting all the information you are receiving.....plus more to come. I can't speak as a LBS, only what I have observed in newcomers who are desperately trying to find direction and answers. What "I" may think is vitally important to remember, may slide right off the LBS b/c they are so emotional and have so much they're trying to grasp.
Don't beat yourself up for not doing what you are reading now, b/c you didn't know. I believe everyone does what they think worked in the past or what their spouse use to say they wanted. So, when they come here and see the advice is usually opposite of what they were doing.....it blows them out of the water. The reason none of those things worked for you is b/c she has changed, therefore the dynamics of the R has changed. Most of the advice you'll receive will help you turn the dynamics around. Think about it.
There have been many, many men who have experienced what you are facing. One of the very best advisers I had, never R with their spouse (the last I heard). What am I saying? We learn from our mistakes. We can warn others to not do what we did.
It is not too late. You have to believe in yourself, and not what your W says about you. You know if you are doing your best, if you are a good daddy, if you own your mistakes, etc. Base your decisions on what you know is the right thing to do as a man and as a parent. Just don't get confused about it and become her slave by babysitting, being her Mr. Handyman, mechanic, etc. Know where to draw the line by using good judgement on these things. So many guys are too afraid to say "no" to their W. Stay balanced on these issues.
I do suggest that you run things by the board (if you have time) before jumping off into something that could make things more complicated or difficult for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
