Guys,

My W seems very intent on the "cake eating". She seems to want the best of both worlds. I am leaving at the end of November for a project out of town. The project will take several years to complete. I have the option to come home every weekend.

I think she is waiting it out for me to leave. This way she gets everything good about being married without me. Do you think it would be a good idea to ask her to make a decision whether to go forward with the divorce (as she wants) or try to work on the M before I leave?

I know she is thinking that if she holds out until then, I will be gone and she will be left alone. Im not sure what to do. Some folks I have talked to say that I should tell her to make up her mind. She has said her mind is made up so telling her to make up her mind doesn't make sense. I am not sure she has made up her mind. If she had she would be making moves toward the D right?

I asked a while back "if you are so sure you want a divorce then why are you still here?". She said "She wants to keep a stable home for the kids". This doesn't add up to me. In my mind, a stable home is the exact opposite of a D.

So, should I talk to her before I leave?

If so, what should I say?

When I am gone should I exercise the option to come home on the weekends? I know my kids will want to see me.

I know this is a long way out, but I want to be prepared. I also want to make the right decisions to help myself navigate this mess.

Part of me feels that the time alone will be good for both of us (me especially). I think I need this time alone and maybe God has given me this opportunity to really work on myself without the distraction of my W constantly judging me.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.


M:39
W:40
S:10
S:7
D:12
BD:3/5/15
Separate BR:3/5/15
W moved out with kids 1/3/16