For example if my WAW asked me to watch our little one so she could go out on a date I would tell her to go ____ herself. If on a night I didn't have the kids but my wife asked me to drive my daughter to a basketball game because she was busy with another daughter. If I say no my daughter doesn't go and everyone thinks I'm a bad dad. If I say yes is that bad DB-ing?
This right here. You are simply saying what you will and will not do are conditional on what your W is doing. That was the point I was trying to make in tdks issue, The wound is fresh and stings I get that ... and like I said there has to be a point you ask yourself ... is this for the kids .. or the W. If the W asks you to watch the kids and is so bold to say its so her and OM can go out, a simple "Sorry I have made plans" without emotion (That's the tricky part) would do. Now W calls and asks for help as she has her hands full with 2 kids who have a schedule conflict (this happens), and you ARE available ... then its up to you in all honestly, personally there was no event S had that I missed regardless of W's day or mine, that was just me being involved as I always have been.
Its only "Bad DBing" if you are saying 'yes' or 'no' with expectations attached, to get a reaction good/bad from your W .... if you are just being a solid dad/man ... not an issue at all, but like I mentioned there is a line of cake eating even when kids are involved so pick your battles here.
Her choices have consequences but should not dictate you nor your actions, you control those not her. Be a man of strength
