Thank you to all and goodbye to my W

[Mozza]

Matt777, I just read this entire thread and I'm touched by your story. You received a lot of support and kind words from the people on this forum, showing what a positive presence you have been.

I will break from the crowd and say that I don't really understand why your W feels hurt by your posts here. Everyone seeks advice as I'm sure she has, most likely with people who know you. She has shared the reasons why she wanted to separate from you, telling on your bad behavior, opening windows on very private situations. All of this with people who are around to judge you and hold a grudge against you.

Now if my WW was to read this thread, I would feel violated much the same way as if she read my journal. If you find someone's journal, it does not give you any right to read it. It's personal. Using any of this information against you would be even worse. I agree that you should not feel any guilt: you've done what anyone does, which is to seek advice, but you've done it better: with strangers and out of love.

Your presence here is a show of true love. Your pain brought you to a place for people who hope to save their marriage and better themselves. Knowing that about you should be seen in a positive light. You wanted to do the right thing to save your M and do your part to make her happy.

I like what is happening with you, your GAL and all, but I'd like to make a suggestion. So far, you have focused on keeping busy. From now on, I encourage you to find things that truly make you happy. Look inside of you what you really enjoy and give yourself permission. If you want to turn the living room into a man cave to your favorite sports team, now's the time. If you want to buy an RC car, start knitting, take up tango classes - do it now. This is good news: now you can. Because it's by making yourself happy that you'll be a better person to those around you. You'll feel at peace with the world, not feeling that anyone owes you anything, you'll be looking forward to your mornings.

It's a good thing that you are moving on from your M. We can see the curve and where it's going: soon, you'll be free not only from the pain, but from the attachment. You are already a better person, a better dad and eventually a better partner. You're a success story in the making.