My lizard and her tunnel ...

[late30s]

Update time:

Wife was with me this weekend. Saturday went well. She talked a lot, I listened. She told me we could discuss R stuff on Sunday.

Sunday was up and down, I did talk to her about some R stuff, basically trying to figure out where he head is at and where she is headed. Laid a few more things about what I would need to see if she were to return home. She talked a lot as well.

Some of the things she had to say stuck with me. Seems she is going to lose her apartment. Short of a miracle, she and OM will be unable to make rent before they are served an eviction notice. Told her that I do want her to come back home, but only for the right reasons. I don't think it would be good for us at this time for her to come back due to a lack of options. At this point she is considering a studio apartment, moving in with BIL, or getting an apartment with S18. She tells me she doesn't intend to follow OM because she wants some time alone to figure things out. Believe none of what they say still echos in the back of my head, but I am hopeful. Assume the best, prepare for the worst is my mindset at this point.

I listened to her rant about her life quite a bit the past couple of days. She is very depressed right now. Feels like nothing is "right" in her life. Told me that OM has "spent two years shredding her life." That he is a child. She is frustrated that he quit his job with no notice and is not making any real efforts to find gainful employment. Again, I find myself hopeful here, but will not push the issue. I hope that she is starting to see OM for what he is and I also hope that she is moving down her tunnel a little further. Not many things were my fault in this discussion and the things she said were my fault were justified. I've been critical to her, she is afraid to return to our old M. No crazy accusations headed my way. I also see that this is merely a small step in the right direction. Many parts of our discussion worry me. Mainly her trying to paint herself as the victim in every situation. I didn't say anything to her about it.

All in all, I felt pretty good with this weekend. I never lost my cool, though she did say a few times that she felt I was being critical. It is becoming more difficult for me to see, but I think a lot of it dates back to our M when I was overly critical. I think she has become hypersensitive to this. I feel like if I can cross this threshold with her, where she isn't hypersensitive to every little thing I say, we may just have a chance. Or perhaps I am still critical, not as overtly perhaps? This part does concern me because this part of Late 1.0 that I don't want to see in the upgrade.