4, you can go a step further. This still came off as a little controlling: Me: are you going to be home for dinner need to know as I need to feed D8.
You saying you need to know is basically saying to him he needs to reply.
No he doesn't. No you don't.
Why not "I'm starting dinner in 10 minutes if you haven't eaten already" and just leave it at that?
Or, you could simply make dinner and if he shows up he shows up.
Either way, just keep your eyes on controlling language. Particularly around the kids, that's the easiest time to 'take control'. We can easily have this attitude "you can leave me but you are always a dad so you need to"...the fact is he gets to do whatever the heck he pleases. Doesn't mean you have to like it, or not make your own decisions on what types of boundaries to stand up for. But let him be him.
You're well on your way, just rooting you on!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
