Recovery from cancer and separation

[asitis]

You are dealing with your treatment & recovery on your own while going through all this, and you are more detached & able to think this through better. I'd call that resilience.

On the impact of my illness on my W, the answer is yes. We went through a rough 7-8 years with deaths in the family, career disappointments, moving to another state for a year, then back, two children, then my cancer. Along the way I got depressed & wasn't all that much fun to be with or supportive of her. That was a lot. She felt like she was always paying attention to everyone else's needs & not her own. When she let me know she was that unhappy, I tried to do everything I could to support her taking care of her needs. It wasn't enough or it made it worse.

She is also about the age when hormones start shifting for menopause, is starting to notice that she is getting older, she claims she is happy w/ her job, but I see signs of "is this all there is for the next couple decades?" blues on the career.

How that all stirs together, and what is responsible for how much, is not something I can answer, but that is a potent brew.