Sleeping Beauty and the Jedi

[AJM]

FWIW, I doubt the damage is too much to overcome for you Cali. For her? Time will tell, but I doubt it for her too. I figure if you two can overcome this "test" then nothing will stop you. But I do think you both needed the wake up call even if you wanted it to be done differently.

Either way, you have to trust yourself. You have to know, deep within your heart that who you are now is what matters. You have to trust that no matter what happens, you will be ok. You have to own those things that you did in your marriage that caused harm and then you have to forgive yourself and forgive her. (yea, yea, I know AJ…she has to want forgiveness smile ).

The idea of her wanting forgiveness is one of repentance. I'd say you have both repented of the previous ways if I were asked for an opinion on it. Not with words, which can be cheap, but with actions.

Both of you. You wouldn't be where you are if not.

It's tough stuff, Cali. As the old saying goes, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. That applies to couples/partners as well.

I think Ur has some wise words, as do several of the others. A lot to process, Cali. The one piece that really stands out is the idea that you do NOT want to be in a position of defending or attacking in the relationship. That's more of a goal than an end result. But you've come a long way, baby. It may be just over that next rise...


AJ