Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[dwh15]

Had a great time at my cousin's wedding. The reception was in an old barn, and the weather was beautiful for it. Caught up with a lot of my extended family. Went to bed feeling pretty good.

Woke up this morning and had the usual few minutes of laying there and feeling depressed. Finally got around and went to church, which definitely helped my mood. Stayed for around an hour after the service to help move a bunch of school supplies for a charity drive they were running. Now back home and having a hard time again. The weather is cloudy and rainy, which always seems to make things worse. Sometimes I just look around at other couples and see how happy they are, and it makes me wish so badly for what I had.

It's getting easier every day and I'm staying pretty active but feel like I've still got a long ways to go. With the new job on the horizon, I'm getting constant questions from friends and family about when I plan to file. When I say some time early next year, I usually get to watch their jaws drop. Nobody understands why I would want to wait so long. Even when I try to explain it, and say I need to be ready, people have a hard time understanding why I would still have any feelings left for WW after what she has done. I guess you really can't comprehend the depth of love and loss if you haven't experienced it firsthand. So I won't be letting anyone sway my opinion. This is my life and I'll do what I feel is right when I know the time is right.