What I would do - fix the car; leave the trampoline alone - are a lot less important than WHY I would do those things.
I never said he shouldn't fix the car, either. Both of us are trying to get the two of you to see the motivation behind the action. If you do things out of a need to appease and "win" her back, then you can say it's for the kids or say you don't care what she thinks........but you won't be honest with yourself, and therefore won't be able to really grow and detach.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
